Lacking Wisdom

How wretched I feel because I lack wisdom completely at times. Oh Lord, how low is my attainment of worldly wisdom. And to attempt to know heavenly wisdom, how can I attain that without constant abiding in Your Spirit? Yet I have not depended on Your Spirit as much as I should in all circumstances. In my utter lack of gifting in worldly wisdom, I stumble blindly and awkwardly around society like a fool.

I am put down to the dust as a sinner in need of more grace from You. Give me more wisdom and discernment, oh God, that I may walk blamelessly before men and before You, that I would not dishonor Your Name, which I bear as a son. Oh, let this reproach be a lesson to me to learn not to trust my heart nor the fears that I hold onto. Teach me how to respond wisely when my fears rise up and I am tempted to act sinfully or foolishly. Let me not be like Abraham or Isaac in their deceit toward the Gentile kings as it regards their wives. Let me not lie in response to fear of personal endangerment but rather, ask You for wisdom and help.

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