Note #23 – Singleness and Marriage

I am beginning to see that the reason why dating or courtship is not mentioned in the Bible is because every relationship is unique and God has planned every relationship and knows how to guide His people in a way that glorifies Him and does not place Him in a box.

Dating as a concept seem to stem from America’s tendency to “standardize” everything for “mass-production.” This is patently bad, especially in relationships. Same with the idea of courtship.

The only thing similar that I see in God’s people and how they get married is this:

1. Singleness – growing in love for God and His people.

2. Meeting the requirements for marriage: Willingness to marry, desire to marry, readiness to marry (maturity – dealt with by God), faith to marry, contentment with God and singleness, knowledge of purpose of marriage, etc. etc.

These requirements will be shown to a person by the Holy Spirit and He will teach the person when that person is ready.

3. Wait and pray for a potential spouse (or revelation that one should stay single) and pray that both are ready and willing, and the Lord is willing – (that is, equally yoked spiritually, love God, content with God, God working to affirm and bring both together [whether through circumstances, in their hearts, etc], etc).

4. Engagement (mutual commitment to be married): basically means getting rid of all other obstacles to marriage – financial, legal, location, affirmation from families, church, etc.

This can be a week or a year or more depending on individual circumstances.

5. Marriage.

My simple, personal view of what God has intended for His people.

To have such clarity has given me great peace regarding my own feelings and how to deal with them. God is so good. Too amazing. He makes these things look so simple.

(Not meant to be formulaic at all, simply listing similarities and principles I observe in people’s road to marriage; there are obviously many differences).

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