Note #9

I fell, almost, into deception. It is easy to do so. I often say to God, that He is being too generous with His joy and the manifestation of His Presence. I was afraid it may puff me up or lead me to live a life dependent on feelings rather than faith.

For the past few weeks, I allowed my feelings and my circumstances to dictate my faith in Him. I forgot that it was faith first that led to such a great peace and fellowship with Him.

I became a bit attached to the gifts He has given me and I failed to see that He was trying to lead me on to greater faith in Himself. Those feelings were simply a foretaste of things to come and were not meant to be the foundation I stand on. No, He is and must always be the Rock I stand on.

I am glad He has taken away many of those gifts in order to make sure that I am able to believe in Him despite my lack of them. For He has shown me, that I was boasting in them rather than in God. In Himself.  And this is utterly sinful. I have defiled His gifts with self. May He deal with me and break me!

Even if I am now once again afflicted, my fellowship and daily communion with Him in faith is indeed more than enough. May I keep what I have attained in Him, and learn that, He is the only One I need. Nothing else. Everything else is a gift, a privilege, given according to His good pleasure, and taken away for His pleasure, and for my good.

Praise God and bless His Name, oh my soul!

 

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