Sharing #9

The past few days, I went on this retreat with my college fellowship.

Nothing was different except the great joy of being with brothers and sisters and being able to encourage them and give them what I have received from the Lord. I was greatly encouraged by what I had received from them and from the Lord through them. I love many of the things that were shared. It encouraged me to know how the Lord has been pursuing some of them and how He is changing some of their hearts to love Him. The unity of Spirit I felt with some of the brothers was so amazing. The amen I felt calling out within me as they shared the Lord’s dealings with them was overwhelming.

It astonishes me how much the Lord is able to work through the Body of Christ and use me as an instrument to encourage the Body. This applies here on-campus and back home at my local church.  I find revelations to be much more common when I fellowship in the Lord with my brothers and sisters. When we are united in the Lord after the same Spirit, I find that He speaks so clearly through the Word and through what I had experienced.

My heart burned with great pain during class prayer meeting on the retreat because of all the struggles my brothers and sisters went through. All I could do was share the encouragement the Lord has given me. I realize the things I receive, I must give away. And many times, the Lord desires so much to be with all His children. Is it not our own unbelief that prevents us from seeing Him? May we ask Him to overcome our own unbelief and obey Him despite what we may feel or understand!

My heart longed so much that my brothers and sisters may see the Lord by faith and not by sight. The feeling of God’s pleasure for us and His joy comes later after we ourselves start to obey Him and seek Him alone without expectation of these things. We seek Him because He allows us to seek Him and we find Him because He chooses to reveal Himself to us. It is by grace alone and not by our own power! How loving He is to even want us to know Him!

I was caught by surprise when two of my brothers shared that they were encouraged by my joy in the Lord during that sharing. Why? I shared with feelings of burden, of wishing how they may be with the Lord constantly, was I not sharing out of sorrow? How did they see joy? It made me realize that while I felt their sorrows, they felt my joy. Though at that time I was feeling sorrow, they felt the joy in my words of my time with the Lord during winter break.

And now, coming back from that, I can only focus more on Him and rest in Him. Though I still feel greatly the weakness and sinful nature in me, I constantly fall back to thoughts of Him. And if I fail, I constantly ask Him for mercy and grace, to enable my wretched heart to return to Him.

May the Lord give me strength to obey and give Him all glory in all things! Especially when feelings of desolation and sorrow overwhelm me. My purpose is not for myself but for Him. My life is not my own but His. I will what He wills and whatever He is pleased with, I shall be pleased with. Whatever He hates, I hate. If I am not sure, may I seek Him earnestly and honestly.

Ah, I long to be submissive to Him and listen to Him rather than myself speak! If I obey His words and wait on Him, my source of joy will not be in my emotions, my circumstances, or my trials but in the Lord and His Presence alone. Amen.


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